Vacuity!

It has become a ritual of sorts, blogging before the endsem's....keeping the brain cells active really keeps all of them active I guess...

The week generally hasn't been all that great, one might argue the week before the endsem never is, but I wouldn't think that is the only reason. People all around are stressed out and people are falling ill, the weather also being inclement. Everyone is in a hurry to get something done, I have lost my temper several times this week and life just doesn't seem to be going my way. The path seems to be uphill as far as my eyes can see .

On rare occasions when we do get the drive to conquer our books, there always is something which would come up precisely at that very moment. The rest of the time is spent carelessly copying notes or passively reading from tomes. Most of us would just love to skip the fifteen days ahead of us, and head home or wherever we are headed. There is a darkness , a darkness inescapable climbing over the ventilators and coming on. I wish I could travel in time, so my steed could show me the meaning of haste, and take me past this onto brighter meadows. In these unusually dark and grave days, I find serenity in the most absurd of things. This is one of them.

The white on the green is supposed to help us make better sense out of things, but somehow seeing the white being removed, leaving just the green out there is so heart-warming and cleansing. Even the manner in which it is done, resembles a dove being set free . With the soft caress of the black and white cushion , the white is assimilated onto the white cushion and eased out of the green. It leaves the observer staring at a blank green board(Now it is another matter that I would've gained more from the class if I had looked at the white stuff).

Staring at blankness has always brought peace to my mind....staring out at the open sea , the open sky, anything vast and plain. The fact that it is empty or blank or plain, only relative to us makes it more interesting. Although it might look like there is nothing out there owing to our restricted eyesight, there is life teeming out there, be it the depths of the ocean, the heights of the sky or the crevices of the 'greenboard' .

What does the world seem like to these creatures living there, almost always forgotten, conjoined with the vast ,seemingly empty space around us. Are they oblivious to the fact that there is more life out here, secure in their own cubbyhole or are they constantly in the fear of being discovered. And maybe they too look at other similar creatures, much smaller than they are and more insignificant, wondering , 'how is it to be like them? '; 'what does the world look like to them?' Or are they incapable of such thought even, such being only in the capacity of mankind.

I don't know what my growing love for vast open space means, is it I that I am tired of urban life or people or that there are too many things around. I have discovered that the amount of clutter you have, of any form, is directly proportional to your indecisiveness. And I have loads of that, but I did quite a bit of cleaning up recently. Among the other absurd things I take pleasure in recent times are washing clothes, arranging my music collection into folders, disk cleanup ......man, am I getting compulsive????. Hope, for my sake, that it isn't as bad as Howard Hughes'.

Even at the end of the darkest and longest tunnel there is light(ok, it might be closed....there are 'air-vents' in that case). The path might be uphill but it is lined with flowers which one might pick and keep for life, this is what keeps me going. And as for the vagaries of the pre-endsem week, the other weeks wouldn't be as great as they are if not for this one and the semester wouldn't be complete(/d) without this one.

We await the passing of the shadow and the rise of a brand new day, filling our hearts with mirth and joy. 'Til that day we will harbor the hope of a brighter sunrise and a renewed spirit.
Magny